If and When...

“If” and “when” are the most detrimental words in the English language.  External influences are dictating the way we live our lives.  Instead of focusing on what is happening in the present moment, we are always one, two or three steps ahead.

I’ll start exercising when work slows down.

If I close this deal, I’ll take that family vacation.

When I lose weight, I’ll go to the beach.

Too much emphasis is being put on one “upmanship.”  We start to feel like we will miss out on something if we take a break from the rat race. Trust me; work will always be there when you get back.

 We feel inferior if friends come back from vacation tanner than us or if their kids look like they had more fun than ours on Facebook.  What you don’t know is, “Johnny’s” mom asked him to  pose 15 times for that photo.  This warped reality is dangerous.

While everyone is obsessing over social media feeds, they’re procrastinating for perfection and missing the joys in life. If you’re guilty of thinking in “if’s” and “when’s” it’s time for change.

Here are 3 things you can do this week to start living for today instead of tomorrow.

Put down the smart phone and listen. Show the person you are speaking with that you respect them and what they have to say.  Think about what they are saying and if you can, make thoughtful comments.  If you don’t have anything thoughtful to say, just listen.  Sometimes that’s the best thing to do anyway.  Listen to everyone, but especially your children.  This is one of the most important life-skills you can teach them.  And, the best way to do it is to lead by example.

Take a brain dump.  Exist in silence at least once a day.  And, no, this doesn’t mean sitting in a quiet office staring at your computer screen.  This means stepping out of your element.  The best thing to do is to get outside and sit or walk quietly in nature.  Each time a thought pops into your head, let it pass.  The key to this exercise is not to dwell on anything.  Being alone and observing which thoughts enter your mind can tell you a lot about your mental state even if it’s just for 5 minutes a day.

Count 3 blessings each night before bed.  Even on the worst day, there are always things to be thankful for.  Here are my three blessings for today. Rain. My boys playing together. COFFEE.

Born 2 Bend.  

Exhale & Release

"You have to drop a sandbag to get your balloon off the ground." - Love, Peace and Misunderstanding

To move forward, you have to drop the things that are holding you back.  Excess baggage can come in the form of many things such as a job that doesn't suit you or memories that won't allow you to live in the present.  Yoga teaches us that the best way to let go of the past and live in the present is to focus on the exhalation.

Exhalation helps your body relax and release tension. Each exhalation will help you discover ease in your practice and help you to go deeper and deeper into any pose. Mentally, exhalation can help unclog the clutter in your brain.  In his book, Light on Life, B.K.S Iyengar explains:

"With an exhalation and retention, you let go of resentment, anger, envy and rancor.  Exhalation is a sacred act of surrender, of self-abandonment.  At the same time, we abandon all those stored up impurities that cling to the self-our resentments, angers, regrets, desires, envies, frustrations, and feelings of superiority and inadequacy and also the negativity that causes the obstacles to adhere to consciousness...  We get so used to carrying this sack of rubbish around that we even conclude it is just part and parcel of our character."

These toxic memories that Iyengar writes about can also affect the physical body. Impurities can build up in our muscles, joints and fascia, too.  During your practice, I'm sure you have noticed that every day is different.  Yesterday you could touch your toes - but for whatever reason - today you are as stiff as a board.  For example, during your first round of sun salutations, when you swan dive into standing forward bend - you may notice that your hamstrings feel extremely tight and you need a block to assist you with the pose.  Today, instead of using the block, try a little experiment:

  

Part 1:

• Start in Tadasana (Mountain Pose)
• Inhale your arms up over head
• Exhale, Swan dive down into Utanasana (Standing Forward Bend)
• Try to place each hand flat on the floor beside each foot
• If you can't do it - don't force it
• Notice the tension you feel in your back body
• Inhale, slowly come back up to standing position

Part 2:

• Start in Tadasana (Mountain Pose)
• Inhale your arms up over head
• Exhale, Swan dive down into Utanasana (Standing Forward Bend)
• Instead of reaching for the floor, grasp each of your elbows with your hands
• Take a deep breath in
• As you exhale, feel your body relax - notice how in that moment of relaxation, your upper body surrenders with a little more ease and allows you to fold deeper (imagine that you are sending your exhalation to your hamstrings)
• After about five rounds of breath, slowly roll up to a standing position.
• Let your head be the last thing to come up.

Compare both versions.  Were you able to fold deeper when you focused on your exhalation?  

Don't assume you are the same person today as you were yesterday. Approach every practice with an accurate assessment of your current state.

Apply this experiment to everyday life.  Next time you're in a tight spot, ride the entire wave of your breath.  You're mind will gain instant clarity.

When in doubt - breathe it out!

Namaste!

Leave your ego at the door:

It's easy to unleash your competitive side during yoga class.  As you try to imitate your teacher's flawless revolved triangle pose, you find yourself nashing your teeth, you feel your shoulders tense and you may even start comparing yourself to other students in the room.  Contrary to the phenomenon known as the Yoga Asana Championship, yoga is not a competitive sport.  In fact, when you push yourself past your edge, you increase your chances of getting hurt.

Buddhism and yogic philosophy teaches us that the ego isn't actually real. Teachers often compare the ego to a lake in the middle of a barren dessert. It's a mirage. Fighting with with it is like a mime struggling to climb out of a box. How can you fight a problem that doesn't exist?

As more and more advances in neurobiology are made - theories are emerging that attibute the sense of I-ness to a couple of chemicals produced in the brain.  Ego appears to be something beyond our control - similar to the way our heart continues to beat throughout the day without us having to try.

Even though ego appears to be something that just happens, there are ways to tame it and get it under control.

Here are some ways to recognize that your ego might be influencing your practice:

1. You forget to breathe - and when you do your inhalations and exhalations feel stressed 
2. You think everyone is looking at you
3. You start to feel uncomfortable in the outfit you're in (maybe you accidentally put your see through Lululemon pants on)
4. You push yourself beyond your edge and ignore pain
5. You compare yourself to the students around you 
6. You find yourself reumenating or getting angry about a conversation you had earlier in the day.  Maybe you start thinking about how you were right and the other person was wrong

So, what should you do if you start to notice your thoughts shift?

Observe your thoughts and let them pass.  Imagine your thoughts as words playing out on a movie screen in front of you.  Whatever you do, don't press the rewind button - if anything press fast forward!

"When ego loosens its hold—even a little—the sense of freedom is exponential."

Namaste!

Release You Inner Elephant

Stand Strong Little Tree

Down Dog, Up Dog and in between – my yoga mat gets a lot of use at home.  

Whether I’m trying to challenge myself with something new like Vasisthasana  or  I’m warming up with Sun Salutations, my toddler watches my every move. Lately, his curiosity has led him to the mat trying to imitate my practice.  

This week, I wanted him to grow some roots.  

At first, we looked outside at the mighty pines swaying in the wind.  We stared as the snow melted and gracefully slid off the branches.  Winter in New England hasn’t been easy on the trees this year.  Snapped branches and toppled trunks have led many to their ultimate demise.  But the trees with the strongest roots remain steady.  Nature has so many beautiful lessons to teach.

 Next, I introduced a book that has been sitting on the shelf since my son was an infant. Babar’s Yoga for Elephants, by Laurent De Brunhoff uses colorful illustrations and step-by-step instructions to guide your little one into fifteen poses.   It’s the perfect book if you want to introduce your child to yoga.  The descriptions are a little too daunting for a two-year-old. Instead, we used the pictures as our guide as we stepped, hopped and jumped into each pose.  

The first pose we practiced together was Tree Pose (Vrksasana).  

I didn’t get my expectations up – but much to my delight, he caught on during our second session.

Babar’s Yoga for Elephants, not only teaches yoga and meditation, it also takes you on a journey around the world.  From New York to Italy and from San Francisco to Greece Babar and friends use different postures to imitate famous landmarks.

It’s cute, it’s funny and it’s a great tool for teaching your kids yoga.  I highly recommend it!

RELAX AND DRAW STRENGTH FROM YOUR INNER ELEPHANT!

Namaste! 

Bad Day Buster: Legs up the Wall Pose

 Viparita Karani AKA Legs up the Wall Pose

 Tired, Stressed, feeling blue? Put your feet up.

Viparita Karani or Legs up the Wall pose works miracles if you've had a bad day.

It alleviates nervous exhaustion, boosts confidence and strengthens the mind body connection. Perhaps the best advantage of all, is that you emerge from the posture feeling more refreshed than if you had taken a short nap.

By going upside down, we can reverse the effects of "monkey mind." In this world of mult-tasking, "monkey mind" or scattered thoughts is a state that most of us experience every day. 

Legs up the wall has several physical benefits as well:

• Encourages smooth breathing
• Soothes the nervous system
• Relieves headaches
• Relaxes the digestive system
• Reduces varicose veins and swollen feet
• Gently stretches the back of the legs
• Returns blood from the legs to the heart - improving circulation
• Supports the lymphatic system by removing waste and toxins

So what are you waiting for? All you need is a few minutes and a wall!

If will feel awkward the first couple of times you practice

• Sit with your right hip touching the wall
• Place your palms on the floor just behind your sits bones
• Bring your knees to your chest and swing your legs up onto the wall
• Make sure that your legs are making firm contact with the wall
• Keep your feet flexed – but relaxed
• Bring your arms above your head and relax them onto the floor in cactus pose
• If your forehead is lower than your chin - place a blanket underneath your head
• Breathe into this posture for 3 to 10 minutes
• If you start to feel pins and needles in your legs – simply bend your legs and press the souls of your feet together. This will help the blood circulate back into your legs
• When you are ready, hug your knees to your chest and roll over to the right side
• Using your arms - push your way up to a seated position
• Sit quietly for a few minutes.  Notice how you feel. 

WARNING:  DO NOT DO LEGS UP THE WALL POSE IF YOU HAVE SERIOUS BACK, NECK OR EYE PROBLEMS.

Keep It Simple - Less is More

“When everything else is stripped away – the essential is revealed.” BKS Iyengar.

Lynard skynard probably didn’t have yogic principles in mind when they wrote the lyrics to “Simple Man,” but if you listen closely you will learn one of the most important lessons yoga has to offer. 

The lyrics have always been intriguing, but now that I’m a mother the connection is even stronger. Shinedown covers it. Here’s my favorite rendition. Thank you Patrick Foley. 

In this materialistic world, it’s easy to desire more than you need. Some people fuel that hunger with overspending, others with alcohol, drugs or perhaps overeating. It’s this insatiable appetite that causes suffering. In the Yoga Sutra, Patanjali outlines 10 principles – The yamas and the niyamas. The yamas are moral restraints, similar to the 10 commandments. The niyamas are a set of observances. One of the yamas is Aparigraha or living without excess. In other words, having a desire for what is necessary and keeping only what you need. Yoga teaches the importance of minimizing the desire for external things and finding deeper meaning and happiness from within. Like the song says, “All you need is within your soul.” Aparigraha is also about finding the beauty in the blessings that surround you right now! 

When you desire something, it consumes your every thought creating negative energy – sending your system out of whack. Holding on to something that doesn’t suit you has the same effect. For example, last year, I was slaving away at a job that had little to offer me as far as happiness or upward mobility. Even though I took on several responsibilities that were NOT in my job description, the powers that be refused to change my title or offer me reasonable compensation. Things were so bad – that on my commute into work, I would actually pray that I would hit a deer so I wouldn’t have to feel that nauseating feeling of climbing the six flights of stairs just to sit behind my god forsaken cubicle. My boss did not make the situation any easier; finding any reason to put me down and the 2 hour commute was killing me. By the time I got home every night – I wanted to collapse on the couch with a glass of wine and a bucket of mashed potatoes. Clearly I wasn’t in the running for a mother of the year award.  I was gaining weight and I was mildly depressed. I knew something needed to be done. I frantically began my job search. 

Fast forward. I’m back into the business I love. The news. Yes, I make a lot less money. Yes, I have to work on the weekend. But I’m a lot happier. And the best part is that I get to spend more quality time with my beautiful son. My husband and I have had to make several concessions. We eat out less. I rarely buy new clothes. But all this penny pinching – to me - is worth it. 

Aparigraha is not about taking a vow of poverty. In fact, if you give up too many things in the beginning – you’re setting yourself up for failure. 

So, give it a try. Start small. Live simple. Namaste! XO

Unlock the Happiness WIthin

 

 “The land of healing lies within; radiant with the happiness that is blindly sought in a thousand outer directions.” – Swami Vivekananda

The inner smile meditation, originating from the Taoist tradition, is a way to achieve calmness and balance. It also allows you to offer a well deserved smile to yourself.

• Begin by sitting in a chair.

• Keep your feet on the floor.  Spread your toes and ground down through your feet.  Feel the energy through both your legs.

• Lengthen your spine.  Tuck your pelvis and lengthen through the sides of your waist.

• Close your eyes and place your hands in Jnana Mudra. Palms facing up.

This gesture symbolizes the union between your soul and the soul of the world.

• Start concentrating on your breath. As you inhale, feel your belly rise. As you exhale, feel your belly descend – similar to a wave crashing on the shore.

• Imagine a wave of relaxation coming over you… spreading through your entire body.

• Next, turn that feeling into a wave of happiness. This may take a while – don’t get discouraged.  Try thinking about something that made you happy as a kid.

• Let go of any holding in your jaw, let your lips part and your upper and lower teeth separate slightly.

• Without changing your facial expression, imagine the feeling of a smile.

• After a moment bring the feeling of a smile to your heart and linger there in your imagination

• Then feel a smile in both lungs and between your shoulder blades.

• From there, bring the feeling of a smile to your abdominal organs and digestive system, your lower back, your pelvis and both legs.

• Finally feel your whole body as one large open radiant smile.

• Feel yourself as the embodiment of a smile… your whole being renewed, reverberating with the presence of a smile… every cell is smiling.

Anjali Mudra

• When you’re ready – bring your hands to Anjali Mudra. Keeping your eyes closed, bow your head.

• Complete the meditation with a deep inhale and exhale and a moment of silence for reflection.

• Remember this feeling throughout your day if you feel yourself start to unravel.